The long weekend brought family and friends. The weather was beautiful and we sat outside in my garden. I remember, I was carrying a birthday cake with candles while everyone was singing when a cloud of dark gray came over me like a summer storm.
I saw all the birthdays, all the cakes and candles, all the people singing, that Ive ever known and then I saw the faces of the people who no longer sang with us, all the missing and the missed.
Then, I had to take one step further, though I don’t know why I did it. I imagined these same people doing exactly the same thing, even if I were gone. Would David be there, and my sister and friends? Who would be in my place? People would still bake cakes and sing, just like I did. Life goes on. I tried to shake the heaviness off but it lingered with me the rest of the night and is still with me tonight.
– Me
Being Alexus 
You’ve entered a place that no one ever warns you about. You have recognized your own mortality, as we all do eventually. Your visits to that place will become more frequent and somber as the years go by. It’s much easier during those times to also recognize God and his blessings on your life. I’m finding that my own death is not such a terrifying concept now, as it was when I was younger and first entered that place, because He’s right here with me, waiting for that moment when I get to go home.