Choices

Now that I’m unemployed I have realized that I have a million or more choices in how I can fill my days. Had I not chosen my current profession I wonder how my life would have been different. Being home the last few days made it clear to me there is no lack of options and the world is my oyster so to speak.

Perhaps I shall become a sea captain. I love the ocean, grew up around boats and am quite the fisher woman. D could be my co-captain and The Beast could navigate for us, up at the front, ears flapping in the salty breeze. Our boat would be called The Wee Three. We could live off the food we caught, then sell the rest for profits. Id do double duty as “Cookie” the galley chef and learn to make my own grog that Id also sell to the villagers. Our skin would become weathered and our hearts full as we made our home in some tiny, close-knit fishing community. We’d wear huge woolen sweaters over those one piece plastic wading pants and rubber boots. D would play sax in the port bars for tips at night while Bailey grew fat from eating kippers all day. At least I’d get a cool hat.

Today I saw an ad for a Truck Driving School where for only $2,000 one can learn to drive a big rig! That might be just what I need. We will hit the open road! D and I will take turns driving our beautiful red truck we’ll call Beulah. He’ll drive at night, me by day. We will exist on nothing but bad coffee and slim-jims and learn to speak on the CB. We will smoke bad cigars while getting matching tattoos of The Beast’s face on our biceps. The tiny sleeping cabin will keep the three of us snug as bugs when the weather turns with the minor exception of the dreadful gas The Beast often has. Mile after mile of black highway, we will earn our keep, stopping occasionally for a special treat at a roadside diner where the meatloaf is good but the pies are even better. We will have friends named Tex and Big Daddy who will keep us informed of the road conditions and where the “smokeys” are. Days will turn into years and miles into dollars

but at least we will all be together.

The happiest people Ive ever seen are the Greeters at the Super Walmart. Maybe this is my calling? Ill show off my (oddly hairy) forearms under my blue polyester vest covered completely with flair buttons reminding people that life could always be worse. Ill wear a tie every single day but it will be the kind that clips on so I’m not late for work in the morning fussing over it. Ill cheerily point out that our in-store photo studio has holiday pack photos for the entire family for the low, low price of $49 where they are also offering free popcorn, today only until 3pm.
Ill direct them to the day-old meat sale at the far back left of the store with a bright smile as I offer them a shopping cart and carefully, neatly put those little day-glo stickers on the purchases they are returning. These are serious times and they call for serious people. Maybe, Ill even get to ring that little red bell during the Christmas holiday.

In the end, after pondering all of these choices, all I really want to do is go back to work. Back to what I know and what I’m good at. I don’t know if that will happen and I’m trying to be open no matter what. I’m going to practice embracing the world as it comes at me. I’m going to consider.Everything is part of a bigger plan, I just have to figure out what this piece is about.As the first poem my Mom ever had me memorize keeps going through my brain, Ill share with you the line that says it best for me.”Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”