(hat tip to my sister who knows why…)
I like to think Im a reasonable kind of person. Im willing to consider options. Im willing to admit when Im wrong. For a chick, Im actually pretty logical. That’s why when confronted with the following situation today- I was completely at a loss for further words or discussion.
I stopped by Magic Dry Cleaning on my way home. I was missing a favorite brown skirt from the load of suits I picked up yesterday. Being reasonable, I assumed it was just in their “lost and mixed up clothes” section and they would hand it over promptly when I identified it.
Me: Hello! Im missing a brown wool skirt from my bunch of clothes I picked up yesterday. (I present the dry cleaning receipt)
Proprietor, wearing a bright yellow “LIKE MAGIC!” tag: I see. Give me a description? (takes my recipt and studies it)
Me: Its brown. It is Jones of New York brand.. wool… part of a suit.. I got the jacket back but no skirt.
Proprietor: I see. (Goes to the back where I assume the “lost and mixed up clothes” section is and eventually wanders back skirtless. No, not skirtless… without MY skirt.)
I dont have anything back there like that. Sorry. You must not have brought it in.
Me: Well, I brought in 7 suits and 5 blouses… see the receipt? (I carefully point out that the receipt says only: 7 suits, ladies, 5 blouses, ladies.)
Proprietor: (Studies the receipt again) I see. Well perhaps you were mistaken.
Me: (getting a bit fired up…) Actually no. Why would they have marked 7 SUITS on the ticket? A suit is two pieces, yes? (leaning right up to his face)
Proprietor: (Backing up a little as I began to raise my voice) Indeed, a suit is usually two pieces, some times three… at least mens suits sometimes have three pieces and a tuxedo will have 4 or more pieces (he added knowingly)
Me: Yes, so…. using that logic- I got one PIECE of a TWO PIECE suit back. Surely thats NOT the “Magic” part of your name?
Proprietor: (frowning) You got a blazer back, yes?
Me: Yes. ONE blazer. No skirt. Hence, the problem! (thinking we had a breakthrough!)
Proprietor: (a little more firmly, stepping forward again) Perhaps…. you brought in a BLAZER.
Me: *sigh* Um no. Its a suit by Jones of New York. Two pieces, Im quite sure of it. I want my skirt. (narrowing my eyes at the man… leaning towards him)
Proprietor: (gulping and deciding to step back behind the safety of the yellow MAGIC counter) Im quite sorry but I can do nothing for you. Ill happily call you if the skirt appears. (Goes back to shuffling tickets and papers)
Me: (quite calmly I might add… as I lean over the tidy yellow MAGIC counter) I see. Ok. So here’s the deal. Do you remember the story about the lawyer who sued the dry cleaners for ruining his favorite pants? Hmmm? Yes.. very good. The owners of that establishment had to get an attorney just to DEFEND them in that stupid suit. It cost them money. Much more than my skirt probably did but I want you to know that if you dont produce my skirt or some kind of deal for a replacement in the next 3 days I will bring a flaming wrath of legal hell down on MAGIC CLEANERS that makes that story look like a bad Judge Judy episode. Not because of a silly little skirt but because you have now pushed me beyond my tolerance level and that doesnt happen often. Im tired, stressed and irritated and I WANT MY SKIRT. (Smiling at him magically…. and taking my receipt back.)
Proprietor: Oh dear. (clutching his MAGIC imprinted papers)
Me: Ill be back in 3 days. THREE. Make some magic happen. Yes?
And with that… I sailed out of there making the plastic MAGIC dry cleaning bags swish, SANS skirt, with receipt.
Ill keep you posted.
Being Alexus 