Dont mess with me when Im SICK. Almost came to fisticuffs today.. 

Made a run to the grocery today for some New Years provisions. They had crab legs on sale in the case- beautiful, fat perfect crab legs. I tell the guy I want 4 pounds. He points to a freezer and says, “we already have them bagged up over there.” I go over and see the bags are full of broken pieces of crab legs and busted claws.. just the left over junk you don’t want. I go back and say, there is NO way Im buying that garbage. I want the whole crab legs. 

He says, “everyone is buying them…its all we have.” I say, “no- look in the case, these are all whole and perfect.” He says, “well, I don’t think we have 4 pounds of those.” 

I say, “well then.. you’d better go in the back and find some. Thats bait and switch and false advertising and believe me, Ill make that very clear to the shoppers here.” He grumbles at me and decides Im not backing down so goes in the back. Comes out after a few minutes with two giant boxes of the “good” crab legs and says, “Ill have to charge you the full price for these.” 

Im still running a high fever and feeling really crappy so I look at him, sigh and say, “Oh no… no you won’t. Your case here shows whole crab leg clusters for $7.99 a pound. Those are whole crab leg clusters I want 4 pounds and I want them now. You can either package them up really nicely for me or we can call the manager and he can do it. Now, chop-chop… I don’t feel well.” 

I narrow my eyes at him and look quite evil Im sure. 

He sighs and wraps up the crab legs and hands them over. 

Happy new year I say. 

Crappy, broken crab legs indeed. 

Im having a nap and some antibiotics now.