Adventures in grocery shopping:

I’ve been watching the checkout lady. Every time she speaks to a customer they have to ask her to repeat what she says.

They lean in to try and hear her and the 3 people in front of me could never quite make out whatever she said so they just nodded.

So of course, I’m prepared.

I watch and listen closely as she gestures at the bags and I say, “plastic please.” She sizes me up. 

Then she holds up my tomatoes, her mouth opens and I realize… She’s NOT actually speaking. She just moves her lips. Ah HA! 

Does she have laryngitis? Cat got her tongue? Is she running one of those secret camera shows?

Well, I’m not falling for her reindeer games. Not me.