Im greatly vexed

My brain is full, so here we find ourselves again, dont we?

Its been a brutal Winter so far. Lots of snow and ice, even more than usual. In December and January we liked it because it made us feel cozy. Now it is merely a nuisance and keeps us in doors when we want to be out. The snow is piled high along the side of the roads and has turned an ugly brownish gray color and we look at it as we drive by and only wish it were gone.

We have no lingering memories of its beauty. Its funny how quickly it turned for us. We are fickle beings, arent we?

It reminds me of our Christmas tree. It was a tall, lovely tree, decorated with sparkly lights and hand placed decorations and we sat in front of the fire and admired it almost every night. But there was a day when I pulled into the drive and saw the tree lying by the side of the curb, covered in snow and turning brown and it made me feel sad at how quickly things change. I dont even remember when it happened, but it did and Im sorry for it.

That’s not what is vexing me by the way. Although it did vex me some what when it happened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is well and truly vexing me is what happened today while at our local Target store. I know Ive shared happenings with you before from that store but today.. something so monumental happened that it has occupied my brain fully for the last 8 hours or more.

While in line at the check out, there was a man in front of me with a cart full of items.                                                                                                                                                                                                          Instead of reading the gossip magazines as I usually do, I glanced at the contents of his cart.

• 23 bags of frozen peas (no more, no less)
• 3 rolls of paper towels
• 6 gallons of generic brand bleach
• 2 packages of Trident Sugar-free gum

Ok, so you know how my mind works and I began to try and work out what he was doing with this stellar combination of items.

I wanted to give him a medal for the outstanding-ness of his selection. I pondered and pondered… peas, towels, bleach..

Next I moved to the man himself. He was older, perhaps in his late 60s or even 70s with wild hair and a beard. But he was wearing normal clothes and comported himself quite sanely in my humble opinion. He didn’t even mind that I was eying his coveted stash of peas and bleach.

In fact, at one point, when the checker scanned the 19th bag of peas, I looked at him and said cheerfully, “THAT is a lot of peas!”

He simply smiled in an insane sort of way and said, “YES! YES IT IS!!!”

Theory:

He is a serial killer. He kills people by making them eat more frozen peas than the human stomach can handle. Then he cleans up the mess (I dunno, ruptured stomach or something) with paper towels and bleach and then calls a cab to make his get-away after chewing on some Trident gum to ensure his breath is Oh-So-Fresh.

Secondary Theory: He likes peas and dazzling white clothing and Trident teeth. Paper towels were ancillary.

As you may be able to tell, Im still greatly vexed by this experience. Its midnight and Im thinking about it still. What say you?