Lets take a step back from the gun debate for a moment and talk about real causality of these horrendous crimes against children and possible solutions that could be bipartisan. Lets just talk about this since we are all outraged over kids dying.

Who is killing these kids? Other kids. Kids are killing kids.

When I was a kid and not so long ago, we all learned how to shoot for food, sport and personal protection. Guys in my school had guns on the racks in their trucks. No one was ever afraid or offended by them. We had school sponsored shooting clubs and competitions in those schools.  Our parents taught us about guns and how to respect them, how to secure them (in locked safes) and more importantly how to respect LIFE, and the VALUE of life when it comes to using a gun. We were taught respect for all life, whether human or prey. These kinds of mass shootings didn’t happen when I was a kid and guns were everywhere at that time.

What was different? I get it, it was a different time, maybe more innocent, but perhaps that IS the issue. Don’t try to say I’m lost in the past. There is a clear connection here.

We as children weren’t plopped in front of a TV or computer for hours to keep us occupied. We had dinner with the family when possible, even if our parents worked or weren’t together and we were expected to talk and share and know each other as was the rest of the family. We didn’t have unfettered access to the Internet which is full of predators and violence. We weren’t allowed to disappear into our rooms for days without interacting with family. We weren’t left without engaged fathers and mothers or other strong role models if the parents weren’t around. Even in our challenging times we had a few adults we could rely upon.

We were taught pride in our country, our flag and history, both good and bad. We have a lot to be proud of as Americans and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We understood what this nation overcame to become the amazing place it is. We learned about and respected our Constitution and laws. We understood why we are exceptional and why people want to come here. 

We were expected to do better when we failed and praised when we succeeded and both were OK. Not everyone got a trophy. If we were offended or upset, we got over it. There were kids better than us and smarter than us so we tried harder and did our best. We competed and lost sometimes and learned how to do that as gracefully as when we won. We learned that not everyone is or will be the same and the highest rewards come from the most effort. 

We had role models including family members, neighbors, mentors, teachers and clergy. When we were in trouble, people listened. We had people we trusted.

We were taught about God (in whatever form you see him) and respect for other beliefs. We were taught personal responsibility. We understood hard work and the value of things earned. We didn’t always like the work but we understood it. We knew things weren’t free. We felt a sense of accomplishment when we finished that work. 

Our television wasn’t full of violence, crime, rape and it certainly didn’t glorify bullying as it does today. Our music didn’t celebrate guns, human degradation or abuse. Our games didn’t depict realistic first person shooter killings, blood, gore, crime and illegal weapons. Our celebrity idols weren’t cheaters, liars and criminals. We didn’t have 24/7 access to the news and who was the latest “star” to do something horrible.

We weren’t pumped full of psychotropic drugs when we struggled, just to make us quiet and complacent. I think this is a big one.

Now we live in a world where kids struggle with confidence, individuality, responsibility and what that means to each of them. How can they find their way on their own given all of the above? Where are the strong, honest role models? Have we given up?

It’s no wonder we have these tragedies. Then we all shake our heads and say, “I knew he/she was in trouble.” These people who are on the edge aren’t usually silent about their problems, they are just shuffled around unless they make the news cycle to be used by one “side” or the other to fit a narrative.

Finally, after all this, after allowing their heads to be constantly filled with violence, confusion, isolation and loneliness, when these troubled kids are throwing up every red flag they can pull out and it’s crystal clear they are in real trouble, they go out and commit horrific crimes. Then what do we do?

What do we do? We blame the gun.

—Me