Adventures in grocery shopping

Im buying mushrooms, standing next to a lady who has a sort of glazed look on her face, staring at all the varieties with her mouth open. She looks at me and says, “What kind are these?” Pointing to the white button mushrooms. I said, “those are white button mushrooms” (as the sign was labeled). 

She says, “No, what KIND are they? You know like cremini or shiitake… like that…” I said, “Well, they are actually white, button. If you need shiitake or cremini, or even oyster mushrooms and Hen of the Woods, they are all there as well. Its quite a selection. White button mushrooms as well as portobello and cremini are all part of the agricus bisporus species in fact but the name for the variety on those is white, button.” 

Thinking she would be quite impressed with my quick response and oddly in depth knowledge of fungi, I smiled helpfully. She stares at me, unblinking for an uncomfortable amount of time before frowning and calling over the produce guy. 

He comes up and she says, “Im simply trying to find out the name of these mushrooms right here. What kind are they?” “Those are white, button mushrooms, Ma’am. Oh yes indeedy, they are.

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