Let me just preface this with the following: I don’t go to the grocery store looking for confrontation. It simply finds me!

Needed romaine hearts. Didn’t see any. Asked the guy who led me over to whole romaine which everyone knows is different.

He said, “these romaine hearts.”

I said, “no, in fact they are not. I’m looking for the package I buy here all the time that is just romaine hearts.”

He says, “these romaine hearts- very good!”

I said, “no, I want the hearts, not the whole thing, you see?”

He holds up his hand and goes to get another guy.

We start over- from the beginning.

New guy points at whole romaine and says, “these romaine hearts.”

*sigh*

Then they both just stand there smiling like they are conspirators in tricking me into buying whole romaine.

Not this day lettuce man, not this day.