Author Archives

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From Mexico

A wise, wise woman

I went out to the pier today while D took a nap and just enjoyed the quiet. As I said, the resort is only 48% full so its nice to have no one around. I walked to the end and sat cross legged and came as close as person who doesnt meditate can come to meditation.

 

Alma: Excuse me, Missus, may I disturb? (tip toeing towards me) 

Me: Of course! Come! 

Alma: I brought your Chardonnay…. 

Me: Mmmm… thank you. Im just enjoying the ocean. 

Alma: Yes..

Me: Were you born here? 

Alma: Yes, just a few miles from here. 

Me: Have you traveled from here? 

Alma: Why would I? 

Me: (nodding) 

We both were quiet for a few moments listening to the waves. 

Me: Alma, Why is it so amazingly beautiful? 

Alma: (pausing for a moment) I think….. that is a conversation for you and God, yes Missus? 

Me: (nods) 

Alma: Excuse me.. enjoy.. (walking away quietly) 

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Incident at a dry cleaners

(hat tip to my sister who knows why…)
 
I like to think Im a reasonable kind of person. Im willing to consider options. Im willing to admit when Im wrong. For a chick, Im actually pretty logical. That’s why when confronted with the following situation today- I was completely at a loss for further words or discussion.
 
I stopped by Magic Dry Cleaning on my way home. I was missing a favorite brown skirt from the load of suits I picked up yesterday. Being reasonable, I assumed it was just in their “lost and mixed up clothes” section and they would hand it over promptly when I identified it.
 
Me: Hello! Im missing a brown wool skirt from my bunch of clothes I picked up yesterday. (I present the dry cleaning receipt)
 
Proprietor, wearing a bright yellow “LIKE MAGIC!” tag:  I see. Give me a description? (takes my recipt and studies it)
 
Me: Its brown. It is Jones of New York brand.. wool… part of a suit.. I got the jacket back but no skirt.
 
Proprietor: I see. (Goes to the back where I assume the “lost and mixed up clothes” section is and eventually wanders back skirtless. No, not skirtless… without MY skirt.)
I dont have anything back there like that. Sorry. You must not have brought it in.
 
Me: Well, I brought in 7 suits and 5 blouses… see the receipt? (I carefully point out that the receipt says only: 7 suits, ladies, 5 blouses, ladies.)
 
Proprietor: (Studies the receipt again) I see. Well perhaps you were  mistaken.
 
Me: (getting a bit fired up…) Actually no. Why would they have marked 7 SUITS on the ticket? A suit is two pieces, yes? (leaning right up to his face)
 
Proprietor: (Backing up a little as I began to raise my voice) Indeed, a suit is usually two pieces, some times three… at least mens suits sometimes have three pieces and a tuxedo will have 4 or more pieces (he added knowingly)
 
Me: Yes, so…. using that logic- I got one PIECE of a TWO PIECE suit back. Surely thats NOT the “Magic” part of your name?
 
Proprietor: (frowning) You got a blazer back, yes?
 
Me: Yes. ONE blazer. No skirt. Hence, the problem! (thinking we had a breakthrough!)
 
Proprietor: (a little more firmly, stepping forward again) Perhaps…. you brought in a BLAZER.
 
Me: *sigh* Um no. Its a suit by Jones of New York. Two pieces, Im quite sure of it. I want my skirt. (narrowing my eyes at the man… leaning towards him)
 
Proprietor: (gulping and deciding to step back behind the safety of the yellow MAGIC counter) Im quite sorry but I can do nothing for you. Ill happily call you if the skirt appears. (Goes back to shuffling tickets and papers)
 
Me: (quite calmly I might add… as I lean over the tidy yellow MAGIC counter) I see. Ok. So here’s the deal. Do you remember the story about the lawyer who sued the dry cleaners for ruining his favorite pants? Hmmm? Yes.. very good. The owners of that establishment had to get an attorney just to DEFEND them in that stupid suit.  It cost them money. Much more than my skirt probably did  but I want you to know that if you dont produce my skirt or some kind of deal for a replacement in the next 3 days I will bring a flaming wrath of legal hell down on MAGIC CLEANERS that makes that story look like a bad Judge Judy episode. Not because of a silly little skirt but because you have now pushed me beyond my tolerance level and that doesnt happen often. Im tired, stressed and irritated and I WANT MY SKIRT. (Smiling at him magically…. and taking my receipt back.)
 
Proprietor: Oh dear. (clutching his MAGIC imprinted papers)
 
Me: Ill be back in 3 days. THREE. Make some magic happen. Yes?
 
And with that… I sailed out of there making the plastic MAGIC dry cleaning bags swish,  SANS skirt, with receipt.
 
Ill keep you posted.
 
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for mom on Mother’s Day

I hope you have a garden
And wine
And tomatoes
And I hope you can see the girls you raised
Into strong and happy women
And know how we think of you
Every single day
I hope you are proud
I hope you have music and
waves and sand
Because I hear you in them
I hope the lightest wind on my face is really you
And the dandelions
They feel like you.
I hope you laugh and dance
And watch over us
But most of all I hope
Wherever you are
You are happy and free
And still with us.

– Me

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My Mom

My mom taught me that life was breathtaking
And tragic
And heart pounding
fleeting.
She taught me to drink deeply of life
To take all it offers,
To let it fill you completely
And even when it nearly kills you
To embrace it still.
To live in its terrifying realness
And float in its beauty.
To recognize that nothing ever in this world
Is accidental.
Then she taught me to read.
She said
To seek the dragons
And castles and sailing ships
To find the things that others may never see
She said to travel where most will never go
And to lose yourself in dusty books.
She said to touch the ancient pages
To behold the ink and leather
And to try to understand
Everything they wanted us to know.
When you have both,
She said,
Then you have the world.

– Me

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If he never came home….

If he never came home…I think that I would grow old, and write stories…and drink too much wine…but my eyes would show…. and you would see.. great sadness and loss, and wisdom… the wisdom to know that I have had what others sought… even if for a short time…

I could never be with another again. They say the heart is an organ made of fire, and I believe this to be true. It burns in me each time he walks through that door. I listen for his key each night, and it starts my heart to beat. His touch brings me to life, and gives me power and the strength that people say I have.

He knew…. even before I did…. or before I was brave enough to admit it, that there would be no others like us. There would be no one who would bring me to my knees with just a smile.

The beauty of it reminds me of a time when I was a child in church. I was alone, after midnight mass, waiting for my Grandmother to finish talking to the minister about the floral arrangements. I was maybe 6. I walked down the long aisle of our church in the near darkness, except for the many candles. My small hands ran along the smooth, dark mahogany of the pews, as I moved closer and closer… I knew God was there. I felt him and I wanted to touch Him. I walked slowly with tears in my eyes, being afraid. As I neared the front of the church I looked up at the stained glass windows and saw the moon shining though. Suddenly I was no longer afraid and I walked faster. I was over come with a sense of power…. and knelt right there in the front of the empty church. It was a tribute from my heart…and I know God saw me there… I know he smiled down on me… When we are six- what do we know of emotion other than purely what we feel?

This happened to me again, nearly 30 years later…… and I’m not confusing Him with God… but here it is…there is this man… who is so much a part of me… and who I am that I cannot imagine ever being alone again. And there are times when he walks in the door and I am six again, and I want to kneel because there are no words I can say… There was never any one before who was going to take care of me, but me. There was never any one who would read my words, who would understand, or even try.

– Me

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Night travels 

Where I was tonight, when you went looking for me...


Snapshot11_002











They called it "Forgotten City" and so it was. 
It was built and climbed and rose 
to beautiful heights 
and the flags flew and blew
The people cheered 
and their shiny city was
it was
And then one day, they disappeared
Every single last one of them
They left behind their clothes
and plates
and coffee cups
nothing left but dust
But the clocks kept time  
the bells in the towers rang
And So I came and visited
I imagined them there
I sat in their places
and looked out their windows
and still cannot begin to imagine
what became of them
that city is still there
It stands as a reminder 
of the faces and the smiles 
and the words
and most of all the people who left
pieces of themselves stuck all over that Forgotten city.

-Me

Forgotten city

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

e.e. Cummings

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Let’s be clear

My friendly “discussion” with a butcher:
Me: do you have any short ribs with meat on them?
Him: these are short ribs
Me: no,they are not.
Him: what would you call them?
Me: those, Sir, are soup bones. BONES, not a scrap of meat on them. I believe this is false advertising.
Him: ….*blink*
Me: perhaps you could call them rib bones. I’m looking for meat.
Him: ….*double blink*
Me: I would give these to our dogs maybe but I’m looking for meaty short ribs for humans to eat.
Him: your dogs must eat well.
Me: indeed. Have a nice day.

The difference between what HE had and what I BOUGHT. Lets be CLEAR here…

skinnyrib shortrib

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Beaches

Got a note from a friend asking why Im not blogging very often and requesting a “replay” of a previous post as she is on a beach somewhere and doesn’t want to leave.

 

 

CRW_5028

We have decided not to come back.

Ive taken up Mayan bead work and will sell my wares to fat, sunburned tourists on the beach under a small tattered red umbrella. I’m as brown as the locals now so no one will ever know the difference and after some practice I think I can be quite skilled.

D has been offered a job playing saxophone for 700 pesos a day and sometimes double that if the dinner crowd is good. I think we will be wealthy if we are frugal!

We plan to live on local avocados, mangoes, coconuts and fresh caught shrimps and we will wash it all down with that strong Spanish wine that is so popular here.

We’ll send for The Beasts though the trip will be costly. Once here, they will chase crabs and seagulls all afternoon while I make my necklaces and the tourists will love them.

At night the four of us will snuggle in a smallish adobe house right on the beach with a tin roof so we can hear the rain. Our main luxury will be my 1200 thread count sheets which I simply cant do with out. We are shopping for a house that has an indoor and outdoor grill so I can grill the shrimp and fish and Ill learn to make tortillas for breakfast. We might even get a few chickens for eggs.

I will sell all my Prada and Louis Vuitton bags to secure travel for The Beasts and likely, most of my expensive shoes as I have no need for them save a precious few pair.

It has been fantastic knowing each and every one of you and you have all brought something special to our lives.

While we feel a tiny bit of sadness at leaving our old life behind, we know this is the right decision for us and the beast and look forward to a prosperous new life.

We hope to see you some day on the beach and yes….

The ocean is as blue as you imagined it in your dreams.

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Just Enough

I meet the most fascinating people on airplanes. Tonight, a lady and her young son from Beijing going to visit friends for the first time in America. She held a paperback that was in Chinese and he played a video game on an ipad. She smiled at me and in fairly clear English told me where they were from and asked if she needed to pay for the water they were served. I told her it was free.

I asked her how long the trip was and she said they had traveled for 2 days. She asked if we had to wear masks like they do in China to be able to breathe and I said it was pretty clear so not to worry.

She told me she couldn’t wait to stand outside at night and see the stars as she hadn’t seen them in years. There was a mother in front of us with two small children and she smiled as she watched them and then held her son’s hand up to her cheek and told me quietly, “we are only allowed one.”

I told her Id love to see China one day and she laughed. She said “it is very beautiful, and very ugly, and very sad. You shouldn’t go, but look at pictures. You have the sky here, and that is enough.”

Indeed, it may be.

 

night-sky-stars